*txts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*
(Source: cozyqueen)Posted 7 hours ago with 146,558 notes | reblog
Posted 7 hours ago with 360,227 notes | reblog
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
I HATE THIS TEXT POST
Posted 7 hours ago with 502,847 notes | reblog
once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes
Posted 7 hours ago with 1,202,814 notes | reblog
the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up
deep thoughts from an anus
Posted 7 hours ago with 186,825 notes | reblog
guys with sleeve tattoos wearing dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up fuck man
Posted 8 hours ago with 107,008 notes | reblog
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
Posted 8 hours ago with 174,218 notes | reblog
if I offered you $20, would you take it?
How about if I crumpled it up?
Stepped on it?
you would probably take it even though it was crumpled and stepped on it. Do you know why?
Because it is still $20, and its worth has not changed.
The same goes for you; if you have a bad day, or if something bad happens to you, you are not worthless.
if someone crumples you up or steps on you, your worth does not change. You are still just as valuable as you were before.
Posted 8 hours ago with 15 notes | reblog
i just need someone to hold my hand and maybe kiss the top of it when necessary
Posted 1 day ago with 373,187 notes | reblog
Things I shout while playing any video game ever:
- YOU FUCKING HOE
- YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED YOU
- I FUCKING (SCREAMS)
- FUCKING BALLS
- OH WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK
- YOU CAN SUCK MY SWEATY FUCKING BALLS
- I HATE THIS GAME
- FUCK ME
- FUCK YOU
- WHY AM I FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME
- I’m so fucKING DONE
- WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
- [PTERODACTYL SCREECH]
have you ever taken your dog to a jumping competition